This is really the blog of a girl who's learning how to grow up in a world of shattered dreams.
If you thought this was going to be a blog dedicated to helping others.... I'm sorry. I'm a selfish person. I need to write to help myself. But perhaps you might feel the same feelings I do. And maybe my writing might give you an idea. This is my excuse.
The world has become something we cannot believe in anymore. You don't see working marriages lasting a lifetime. You don't see honesty in others. All we see is people trying to desperately survive. Survive another day. And for what?
Stuck in the rat race. Working many years at many jobs we hate. Slipping away into the corporate ladder and suppressing our dreams for the hope of something secure. Tempted by the worlds' offers of better sex, better drugs, better ways to forget our pain. A lifetime of regrets, never knowing what could have been, what we should have done instead, and how we could have possibly resisted the dangers of trying to make our lives "interesting."
Always wishing we could be alone on our own private island. So much that as we sit at in our cubicles, we lean back, just for a moment, and close our eyes. And for those few seconds, we are stress-free, laying on a beach, without a care in the world. But then reality hits, and we straighten our backs and return to the mundane.
Financially, it drains us. It seems the more we work, the less money we have. We can't go back to school because we make just enough to be too much, yet just less enough to be a few paycheck do away from broke. We're stuck doing jobs we hate, stuck staying in areas we cannot relate to at all. We begin to accept this.
How does a girl who's been sheltered from such things survive? How does she make sense of all of this? The world is a cruel place, ready to tear her apart.
She writes. Maybe not the whole story but just enough to let her emotions free. Bottled up and scared, she writes and everything feels better.
Writing can change her. She doesn't need to ask anyone how to survive in this painful world because she knows that deep down, she has it all inside her. It's just waiting to come pouring out on the pages. Her parents morals, her generation's behavior, her experience's consequences all meet together and try to help her understand this life.
It's not perfect, but she understand that perfection is never attainable. It's all up to her to discover what she has to offer. What she will do with this life. How she will not only survive, but also thrive in this broken world.