I started this blog to give information and share my passions, but I am starting to think this blog is therapy for myself. I can only vent here. Today is another rant, another post pouring out my heart.
Every time I think it's getting better, that thing is taken from me. I know why; it's because I'm lazy. Deprived of comfort. Once you know the reality of being a an adult, but have a mind stuck in high school, it becomes difficult to manage.
I have become the very thing I fear. I have made my life more risky than I ever could have imagined. The other day my brother mentioned about how sometimes he gets a feeling about the pressures of life being so overwhelming that he loses himself in the thought of giving up and finds peace. I didn't understand what he meant until now.
I don't know when it got so bad, or how it did, but I know one thing: fear shuts me down. And that is the very reason I've attracted my fears into my life. Sometimes I wonder how bad it will have to be to wake me up.
I have the tendency to just escape whatever I am afraid of, and that's because I am a coward. I know I can do better. I am weak, but I am persistent.
I can only pray now that God gives me the strength to carry through.
Labels: rant, thoughts, writing