Sometimes, my husband will really get into a video game and become completely consumed: sitting there for hours, not getting up other than to eat. I will shake my head at that sight, but today I realized something....
I am the same way with a good book.
I will stop at nothing to finish a good book. I won't eat, I won't sleep, and every waking moment, including using toilet, I'll be reading the damn book until I finish it. I read the 5th Harry Potter book in 7 hours, to give you an idea.
I don't know about others, but anything that my mind can run with, I can create a vivid image. When its a book, I can get inside the characters head, I can empathize their feelings, I can feel their emotion, pain, and aura. Its a bit weird actually, but temporarily during the time of reading or watching something that really grabs me, I become the character. In reality, I begin to pick up their mannerisms, thought patterns, wants and aura. Most of the time, the thing I'm reading or watching can dictate how I act towards other people, or what I think of myself.
Recently (meaning like since yesterday afternoon), I've been reading the Divergent triology. Yes, I know I am late. And to make it worse, I watched the movie before the book (gasp!). I thought I might be too old for the story, but as it turns out, I love it. I can identify with the main character Tris so much. She's everything I wish I could be with all of the insecurities I had as a teenager and some that I still have now. It's funny because in one of the interviews for the movie cast, the interviewer said the story was very relatable for teens who are going through the indentity crisis stage. Honestly I think I'm still going through it at age 23! I was always a late bloomer in terms of naivety and maturity, though.
If you've read the books or watched the movie, you will know one of the main themes is courage and bravery. This is something I admire so much and wish I had in myself. To a certain extent, I think living in fear is such a waste. I wish I had the guts to free fall from a seven story building. I feel like it would make my true self awaken once I know I have faced my fears.
At the same time I was reading the books, I found a new D&B song that I love so much because it fits so well with the concept of the book! Plus, it's just an awesome song.
The lyrics of the song:
Our hearts tend to wander
Your mind isolated
Will sweep you away
Set yourself free!
We're all alone
Cause there's no one else
Listen to yourself
Sometimes the way to set yourself free is to let go and not be afraid of feeling out of control.
Which I do a lot. I hate feeling out of control. And I also often don't trust myself or my instinct, which I think is another big part of letting go.
Being brave enough to do this in real life is really hard. I can sit here and write about it all I want, but let's see if I can do it in real life.
Could I really freefall if I knew I wouldn't get hurt?
I don't know. But I would love to try and see what happens when the situation comes.
Labels: books, D&B, divergent, drum and bass, fears, freefall, metrik, phobias, reija lee